Am I obligated to attend a fancy dinner?

My stepmother is a nice lady - really... she is. She does have a slight tendency to go "over-the-top" for occasions, and this often causes her to be stressed out and UNFUN. For her birthday, she wants to go to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, one of the most expensive places in town for her 33rd Birthday next week. Not really concerned with the price aspect of it all at first, I accepted her invitation. I mean, how much can a steak cost?



Well, now.... I've had a look over the menu and my god it's ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate good food and a nice atmosphere.... but $45 for a steak? I am very budget-conscious and with Christmas coming up, it's really going to put a damper on my gift plans.



So am I now obligated to go?



*A little background - because I work so much ( I have 2 jobs and held 3 over the summer...) I have flaked on her several times for other plans, though much less important than a birthday. It's kind of a running joke between us that I may say I'm coming over, but she doesn't believe me until I get there.



So.... should I suck it up and save a little money or decline to go due to the prices?Am I obligated to attend a fancy dinner?
i think what is most important to "a nice lady" is that you show up

so i suggest you eat a hearty dinner at home

then show up and have a dessert with her to celebrate without going broke



its YOUR money, no one no matter how "nice" can force you to spend it how they want, she knows how hard you work and should understand your lack of time, and value the time you give her



if she looks at you funny, makes jokes, or abuses you in any way then wait til later and confront her about that abuse. if she is as nice as you say she will accept the best gift a person can give from you, which is TIME



if she does anything less than show happiness for you being there she shows herself to be very selfish and inconsiderate of you, and you don't have to accept that.