How to mentally deal with cutting off relationship with parents?

I am having a problem with mentally dealing with the severed relationship with my parents and older sister. In early 2003, my wife helped me realize that getting thrown against walls, punched in the face, kicked on the ground, publicly embarrassed and humiliated, told I was going to amount to nothing but a piece of ****, et cetera, et cetera was not the normal treatment of good loving parents. Throughout my time living at home I lived on pins and needles. My family wasn't poor, we had a nice house, parents drove nice cars and we ate out at nice restaurants often. I never ever used drugs to this day and only drank alcohol once in high school. As soon as I turned 18 I moved out of my parents house and into an apartment. When I told my parents I was leaving, they seemed excited, they couldn't wait. In fact, my mom informed me she was turning my old bedroom into a sewing room. I enrolled in a local college and paid for it myself even though my parents paid for my sisters four years at a private college. As a married adult with one child I went to the birthdays, Christmas', Thanksgivings, et cetera. I started to notice a patern evolve. In 2001, my parents showed me plans of a house they were building in a ritzy neighborhood, they decided to only make it 2500 sq. ft. because the kids were older and they didn't need as much space. Well, two months before they were to break ground, I purchased a 3600 sq. ft. home in a nice area. Within weeks of them finding out, they redid their house plans to be 4500 sq. ft.. In 2003, I told them my parents I was shopping for a summer lake home on the same lake my parents used to have one (they sold it when I was 18). The tried to talk me out of it, telling me every reason why not to get it. Well, while standing in front of a lake home that I was looking at with a realtor, I see my parents pull up in my fathers cherry red corvette. I asked what they were up to since it was 45 minutes away from their home and they said they were just driving around. Two weeks later I get a call from my mother bragging that they just purchased a lake home on the same lake I was shopping. In 2005, I purchased a Cadillac CTS, within a few months, my mother got one. In that same year my younger brother at the time (around 18 years of age) signed up for the Marines. He and my younger sister were my parents prodigy. My parents purchased them brand new cars (us three older ones had to pay for ours). It was obvious my parents were raising the my two younger siblings differently. My immediate family (me, wife and daughter) traveled to San Diego with my parents and the rest of the family (flew different airline, stayed same hotel). At the end of the ceremony I captured, on video, my parents obvious signs of being proud of their child. I found myself with mixed tears of a proud brother and jealousy. Now for the straw that broke the camels back (there are many many more things that lead up to this that I can't put in writing because of text length restraints). After he graduated boot camp, he called about four months later to inform us he was going to Iraq for a 12 month tour. My mother decided to throw him a party 5 days before he ships out. She sent us an invite with the date and time and of course we RSVP'd yes. Well, 3 days before the scheduled party, she calls me and tells me she scheduled the party on the same day my brothers girlfriends parents scheduled something for him, so she was having the party two days earlier than the scheduled date. I told her that I had someone flying in from Florida on that day and couldn't make it. I wasn't about to have a client eat airfare, hotel, and car rental. I informed her that my wife and I will take him and his girlfriend out to dinner at Ruth's Chris before he goes; which we did and it was great one on one time, more than I would have gotten at a party. Anyway, on the same day my mother called to change the date, my father called later in the afternoon and left me the nastiest voice mail message. The things he said were things you don't say to your own child. The one thing that stuck out specifically that made me break was when he said "If your brother were to die over there, you'll have to live with that the rest of your life". What father would say something like that? After calling him back and ripping him a new asshole and telling him how horrible he was for say that, I never spoke to him again. That was in August of 2005. In a nutshell, my mother is a lieing, manipulating, *****. My father is a miserable man that has always hated his career and taken it out on my older brother and I. I have only really kept in contact with my younger brother and sister and sometimes my older brother. My older brother lives in California and started talking to me in January, but stopped talking to me about two months ago because I wouldn't loan him $2600 that I don't have. Yesterday was my birthday, none of my familyHow to mentally deal with cutting off relationship with parents?
Obviously they are unhealthy people to be around and you and your family should not be subjected to an unstable environment. It is important to not hate them but as an adult and for your own health abstaining from contact is necessary to live a healthier stress free life. You cannot alter the family you were born into but learn from their mistakes. You can make the current family you have created loving and supportive, which differs from your own past experiences but doing this your new family may flourish. If you do find that you miss them I suggest maybe just post cards every once any awhile but nothing to serious.How to mentally deal with cutting off relationship with parents?
try to understand that they're aren't a good family for you.



you should try to be happy with YOUR family and not the one your parents madeHow to mentally deal with cutting off relationship with parents?
i dont blame you for doing that, i wouldve done the same thingHow to mentally deal with cutting off relationship with parents?
Your parents sound like mine and I am also finding it a nightmare to break ties. Their poisonous words ring in my ears daily and I have nightmares most nights. You need to break free, move as far away as possible and don't tell them where you are. Concentrate on your own family now and I really hope you can get to enjoy the rest of your life. You deserve happiness.
I find your situation disturbing yet interesting.



Can you e-mail me I am going to school for Psychology and would love to help you deal with this situation. I promise you I am not some crazy person I truly would lke to help you.



Kelly.sara10@yahoo.com